How Not To Teach Inclusivity

I'm so angry at some of the commenters in one of my facebook autism groups!! I need validation in this or I'll just continue being angry. I apologize in advance for my tone, I am literally shaking and crying in anger.

The topic is the parents' invitation of a wheelchair user to an autistic person's childhood birthday parties without the autistic person's permission, possibly even against their expressed wishes.

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Let's work on inclusion without forcing disabled people into the role of teacher, please. We're fucking tired. You cannot force people to be compassionate. Overriding agency in order to impose an authoritarian false image of compassion only teaches how to hate us further under the guise of "helping people who can't help themselves". (Alfie Kohn's Unconditional Parenting needs to be required reading stg.)

Guess what ableism can look like? It can look like people assuming all disabled people should automatically be friends with all other disabled people ever, despite the fact that we are as unique and have as many personality quirks as nondisabled people.

Consent is more important than making people feel good!

And God, some people with the "lucky" shit... let me tell you I'd rather never have had a single birthday party than having had so many days of literal terror and psychological torture that always ended in tears. Trust me, luck is in the eye of the beholder.

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